What are the components of your love relationship? Intimacy? Passion? Decision/commitment? All three components? Two of them?
To complete the following scale, fill in the blank spaces with the name of one person you love or care about deeply. Then rate your agreement with each of the items by using a nine-point scale in which 1 = "not at all," 5 = "moderately," and 9 = "extremely." Use points in between to indicate these values. Then consult the scoring key at the end of the scale.
____1.I am actively supportive of _________'s wellbeing.
____2.I have a warm relationship with _________.
____3.I am able to count on __________ in times of need.
____4._________ is able to count on me in times of need.
____5.I am willing to share myself and my possessions with ___________.
____6.I receive considerable emotional support from ___________.
____7.I give considerable emotional support to _______.
____8.I communicate well with ___________.
____9.I value _________ greatly in my life.
____10.I feel close to ______.
____11.I have a comfortable relationship with ______.
____12.I feel that I really understand ___________.
____13.I feel that _________ really understands me.
____14.I feel that I can really trust ___________.
____15.I share deeply personal information about myself with __________.
____16.Just seeing ________ excites me.
____17.I find myself thinking about __________ frequently during the day.
____18.My relationship with ___________ is very romantic.
____19.I find ________ to be very personally attractive.
____20.I idealize _________.
____21.I cannot imagine another person making me as happy as _______ does.
____22.I would rather be with _________ than with anyone else.
____23.There is nothing more important to me than my relationship with ______.
____24.I especially like physical contact with ______.
____25.There is something almost "magical" about my relationship with ______.
____26.I adore _________.
____27.I cannot imagine life without _________.
____28.My relationship with _________ is passionate.
____29.When I see romantic movies and read romantic books I think of _______.
____30.I fantasize about _______.
____31.I know that I care about _________.
____32.I am committed to maintaining my relationship with _________.
____33.Because of my commitment to ________, I would not let other people come between us.
____34.I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with ________.
____35.I could not let anything get in the way of my commitment to ________.
____36.I expect my love for ________ to last for the rest of my life.
____37.I will always feel a strong responsibility for ______.
____38.I view my commitment to ________ as a solid one.
____39.I cannot imagine ending my relationship with _________.
____40.I am certain of my love for ________.
____41.I view my relationship with _________ as permanent.
____42.I view my relationship with ________ as a good decision.
____43.I feel a sense of responsibility toward ________.
____44.I plan to continue my relationship with ______.
____45.Even when ________ is hard to deal with, I remain committed to our relationship.
Add your ratings for each of the three sections intimacy, passion, and commitment and write the totals in the blanks below. Divide each subscore by 15 to get an average subscale score.
|÷ 15 =||________ |
|÷ 15 =||________ |
|÷ 15 =||________ |
An average rating of 5 on a particular subscale indicates a moderate level of the component represented by the subscale; for example, an average rating of 5 on the intimacy subscale indicates a moderate amount of intimacy in the relationship you chose to measure. Following this example further, a higher average rating would indicate a higher level of intimacy, and a lower average rating would indicate a lesser amount of intimacy. Examining your ratings for each of the three subscales will give you an idea of how you perceive your love relationship to be composed of various amounts of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Sternberg's Triangular Love Scale (adapted) from The Triangle of Love by Robert J. Sternberg. Copyright © 1988 by BasicBooks, Inc. The McGraw-Hill Companies
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.